Two Minutes of Mayhem: Bearded Dragon & DUI

Two Minutes of Mayhem: Bearded Dragon & DUI


FOLLOW ALONG IN SPANISH ON THE ACCESS — SAP BUTTON. A GUILTY PARTY BOY OWES SOMEBODY AN APOLOGY. YOUR TWO MINUTES OF MAYHEM. WHEN YOU CARE ENOUGH TO SEND THE BEST SEND A BREWSKI. PASSERBY’S CAPTURED VIDEOS OF OBESE WARM IN SOUTHEAST LONDON. A JEWELRY SHOP OWNER SAID IT HAPPENED DURING RUSH HOUR BRINGING TRAFFIC TO A STANDSTILL. HE SAID IT STARTED AS A LOW HOME AND SOON BECAME OVERWHELMING. THE SWARM LOVED HER JEWELRY SHOP BECAUSE IT WAS A BOUDOIR. THEY TRIED TO BREAK IN RESULTED IN AN APOLOGY AND A SIXPACK OF APOLOGY BEER. KATELYN HINES SAID AND — A DRUNK MAN TRIED TO ENTER HER APARTMENT ASSISTING A FRIEND WAS STAYING UPSTAIRS. SHE SENT HIM ON HIS WEIGHT AND HE RETURNED AND ATTEMPTED TO PICK HER LOCK. WHEN THAT DIDN’T SUCCEED HE LEFT AGAIN. THE NEXT DAY SHE FOUND A SIXPACK OF ALEXANDER KEITH HERE ALONG WITH THE NOTE READING IN PART I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR WAKING YOU UP AND BEING SO DISORDERLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND PLEASE ACCEPT THIS SIXPACK OF AVERAGE TASTING BEER . WHAT WAS HE ON? AVERAGE TASTING BEER? A MESSAGE TO SUCH WOMAN UNDER ARREST — A MASSACHUSETTS WOMAN IS UNDER ARREST. A LOT OF DRINKING AND A BEARDED DRAGON. SHE MUST’VE BEEN GOING 70 MILES AN HOUR BEFORE HITTING A HILL GOING AIRBORNE. SHE LANDED IN THEY ARE AFTER TAKING OUT HALF A DOZEN MAILBOXES. SHE STUMBLED OUT AND OFFICERS WERE PREPARED FOR THE WORST BUT SHOCKED. SHE HAD A BEARDED DRAGON TUCKED IN HER SHIRT FOR NO REASON. BECAUSE SHE WAS DRUNK? MAYBE. I’VE SEEN PIXAR MOVIES. MAYBE IT WAS ON HER HEAD. SHE HAS 130 PRIORS. THE LIZARD IS IN PROTECTIVE CUSTODY WITH ANIMAL CONTROL. POOR LITTLE GUY. THAT’S WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO. THE ANIMAL GETS ON YOUR HAIR AND PULLS IT IN THE PIXAR MOVIES. [ LAUGHTER ] GREAT.

Randy Schultz

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