Rage Quit – Hurdle Turtle 2 | Rooster Teeth

Rage Quit – Hurdle Turtle 2 | Rooster Teeth

Micheal: Once again, great music. I’m a sucker for good music. And for dick! I see what you’re doing there right, is this like a ninja turtles thing? Cuz this is like the screen…it’s like select your turtles. Ohhh god alright. This is like fucking Super Mario Brothers 3. Say I said Mario, because people always bitch about it. Wow! This thing fucking mo- holy shit! Look at this guy! This is the most incredible turtle I’ve ever fucking seen in my li- This fucking thing is more agile than the ninja turtles! They can’t do this. I’ve never seen them do this once. Do I have any like hidden moves? Do I have a katana or a bo staff of some sort? No? Look like I just got the shell…Oh fuck! I- oh shit, oh god! Hooly crap.This is kicking off, everything is kicking off now. This level is my bitch. Holy crap. Oh fuck fuck! Oh fuck ahhh ohhh oh shit, oh fucking shit. This little fuck’s racing till’ the sun goes down. Alright level 2, you’re a turtle, it’s the water. You got this shit. Oh extra points, give me the fucking rings. Oh fucking shit I’m a dolphin! *Michael trying to imitate a dolphin and failing miserably* [FASTER!] Oh my god I jumped over his head! You got nothing on Turts! You got nothing! That’s the name of my guy it’s Turts. [HALFWAY!] I’m like lighting, I’m like fish lighting. *Michael taking a shit* Fucking fuck! I’m missing everything. Look at this, There was a little- There was a little splash sound when I beat it.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And now we’re going into fucking zombie woods?! This is fucking shady as shit. There are also zombies or fucking vampires. Cuz this is the kind of shit vampires pop out of. Don’t suck ma blood. Don’t suck ma turtle blo- Oh crap. The zombies look like fucking Canadians from South Park, where their head just kinda like swing on a hinge. That’s copyright infringement right there. Oh shit! Oh my god- OOOOH GOD! Oh I’m a zombie turtle now is that..is that what’s happening? Oh my god OOOOOH Fucking shit I ate that coffin hardcore. Hooooly shit. Fucking crap! But I got it. Fucking lava..What I- What the fuck is stage 2 gonna be like?! We got lava in level 1?! I’ll be honest, I thought I’d be running around the lava not fucking swimming through it! What am I, a fucking mecha turtle?! What?! Oh my god..ohh I’m starting to get sick this is fucking..ohh this fucking looks weird. *Michael vomiting* [LEVEL COMPLETE] So I’m in stage 5, we’ve got the dungeon, there is the Merio fireball..Fuck! I said Merio, Mario. Dammit. Holy shit..Oh fuck! I ate that hard.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) This is the dungeon level and there are shitload of doors in the background- or windows. Somebody went fucking nuts with windows.They were like windows, everywhere! Every two feet! Fucking crap! Those big fireballs, I’m either fucking stupid or they take up 2 spots and they’re kicking the shit out of me. Oh fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! Oooh fucking crap! Oh god no! Ooooooh FUCK! Oh my god! The first fucking one?! FUCK! I hope there is a fucking boss at the end, and it’s like a chef and he’s trying to make turtle soup. FUCK! Holy fuck! I’m getting wiped out, I’m getting wiped the fuck out. MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck me! I mashed- I was fucking- God dammit I mashed the A button picked level 1. The beginning of this level is like Call of Duty Zombies. Right? It’s fucking easy as shit until you get to round like 6 or 7 and then you’re fucked around 7! FUCK! I just got killed on round 2! Fucking double fireballs you can double suck my turtle dong. AHHHH CRAP! I knew I was fucked. I knew it! Can I jump over these fucking fireballs actually? OH FUCK! Fucking shit. Oh fuck, I’m fucked, I’m fucking fucked. I got no- Goddamn It..I HIT THE GODDAMN POLE! I fucking picked level 1 again. Go fuck yourself level 1! Are you- Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck?! AHHHHH AHHHH I moved into it! I fucking..AHHHHHHHHH! Oh shit, yup yup. Saw that coming. Half- I’m more than fucking halfway to my fucking grave. GODDAMN IT!

Randy Schultz

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99 thoughts on “Rage Quit – Hurdle Turtle 2 | Rooster Teeth

  1. jamie-lee simmons says:

    i just love this guy!!!!!! 

  2. Drake Randles says:

    Michael don't ever bring Canada into it

  3. Sjnaka says:

    i should not be drinking and watching this at the same time…

  4. Matthew Cesario says:

    You can double suck my turtle dong so funny

  5. Alexander Cuellar says:

    turtle's shell looks like a patty

  6. Kara with gun says:


  7. Bianca Rosner says:

    I'm a dolphin!!!

  8. danny125867 says:

    Teenage mutant mecha turtles

  9. Aagerds says:

    That was the fastest turtle I have ever seen.

  10. Akashi Seijuro says:

    Play flappy birds

  11. Marksmithwas12 says:

    How have I only just found out about you? XD

  12. jeremiahlb1 says:


  13. Melody Barrios says:

    dang that turtle was fast! but will Michael ever finish a game? would he finish without getting pissed off???

  14. Amritpal Galsin says:

    Master splinter would be so proud.

  15. ssths says:

    " What am I? A FUCKING MECHA TURTLE!!!??"
    No  You are young Kaiju. You are Son of Gamera.

  16. Mak Oto says:

    I so badly want to see Ray and Michael do this in versus.

  17. bobby Parrack says:

    Anyone else notice the name of the place level lava me outta here

  18. blake116 says:

    What does mlp mean in his name

  19. Ceramic Pigs Productions says:

    Stereotype Canadians. Don't do that.

  20. Brenanas says:

    Oh, how Turtes loves to eat random things like coffins and fireballs, that was surely his demise.

  21. Graviler says:



    for once this game seems too fun to be on rage quit

  23. lylemcd says:



  24. EGØDĒATH says:


  25. baseboy1999 says:

    you should try dark souls or metal gear

  26. josh massie says:


  27. Profezor Snayp says:

    Turn on the subtitles for extra fun!

  28. TheConnor0212 says:

    You can double suck my turtle dong

  29. xTug says:

    I like how you say Mario better than how it's actually pronounced

  30. AurifyElectrify says:

    This on 0.5 Speed :'D

  31. alyissa henderson says:

    Typo in the description. XD

  32. kidsmack baus says:

    oh lawd my fucking upper chest hurts so bad 

  33. Ryan Rosen says:


  34. irametdolorem says:

    I heard neo-roosterteeth was bad.

    But this is baaaaaaaaaaaaad.

  35. Brandon says:

    I don't see how he can be angry. Look at how happy that turtle is! 😀

  36. zach ross says:

    0:27 username mlp michael

  37. The Jojo Network says:

    window's window's window's #window's

  38. the lost gamers says:

    best thing ive ever heard you can double suck my turtle dong that is hilarious

  39. Noah Mutersbaugh says:

    Yeahhh that wasn't lava…that was blood..wonder what his reaction would have been if he had realized while recording hahaha

  40. Seth Buckles says:

    Cod zombies hard at round 6 really

  41. shit face says:

    play happy wars

  42. captainshangles says:

    Wait why do people not like it when u say Mario? Instead u call it murio? Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?

  43. Hanna Hammoud says:

    Play "the impossible quiz"

  44. Stop Now says:

    i think he likes this game until 5

  45. bluebasaur inc. says:

    The announcer in this game sounds like ryan

  46. Dead Zone says:

    GO TURTS GO!!!!!!!!!

  47. Tom says:

    "Windows! EVERYWHERE! EVERY 2 FEET!! D:l

  48. Shinigami says:

    Dat remix THO!

  49. Paulos says:

    Gave up too quick Mike, you were doin good and you abandoned Turts, you should be ashamed 🙂

  50. DragonNexus says:

    It's no wonder he kept dying, because he kept getting killed by the glow the fireball was making on the ground. That's just bad design.

  51. Matthew Shote says:

    its been exactly a year

  52. You Suck says:

    Turts is so rad!!!! Am I right!

  53. DucklingBeef says:

    "You can double suck my turtle dong."

  54. Kazz White says:

    NO WHY DID YOU STOP THE WAY YOU SAID MARIO??? i liked it. you should say it like you did in cat mario :)-

  55. Justice Anyim says:

    "What the fuck am I. A fucking Mecca turtle?"

  56. Haley Gibson says:

    "WINDOWS, EVERY TWO FEET!" When he said that all I thought was, "Me on the sims."

  57. Mike F says:

    What? Cod zombies gets hard at round 25 for me

  58. Greenboi says:

    I always thought he said "Mario" but I was too lazy to comment about it. I laughed so hard when he finally called everyone out about it.

  59. Fanatic Studios says:

    @roosterteeth I don't have anything yet but plZ subscribe and maybe we can discuss a possible video,that would be much appreciated

  60. bp lm says:

    ever heard of a coliseum

  61. steveasat2 says:

    I guess when the developers were making "Hurdle Turtle 1", they decided "No way!  This action is OFF THE HOOK!  We can't fit all this in just ONE game, we're gonna have to save some of this gravy for the sequel!  You can only win GOTY once a year, after all!"

  62. Dwood Da Legend says:

    How old r u

  63. Dwood Da Legend says:

    hey I'm a dig fan

  64. Dwood Da Legend says:

    big not dig

  65. Connor Kovack says:

    "You can double suck my turtle dong."

  66. Pete Olivarez says:

    lol "Marry-o"

  67. Mary Manter says:

    Almost 1Million Views

  68. Fane Hernandez says:

    just say mArio. m-AAA-rio

  69. noptic says:

    I wish Micheal did Let's Plays.

    Also I love that super aggressive gurgling with rage "go FUCKYOURSELFLEVULOOOONEEEEEEEE"

  70. Lightning Runner says:

    his dolphin noise is funny

  71. 45mergeraman says:

    Michael. You should try battle toads on rare replay for the Xbox one. Think that would be pretty hilarious.

  72. Yankee Boy says:

    I feel like he could have beaten this fairly easily

  73. Elijah Burrell says:

    Turtles are reptiles

  74. grannyslime says:

    i love the way michael originally says mario, its not him if he says it like ostrich instead of marry

  75. Joseph Jennings says:

    listen to this with ears close, And you got a fan fiction made out of hell.

  76. tibschris says:

    4:36 The turtle jumped behind the wall in the background. The designers might want to patch up their depth calculations.

  77. Samuel McGraw says:

    Watching this in 2016 like: Damn, Michael needs to do some yoga or something.

  78. TheCRTman says:

    Mecca Turtle XDDDDDD

  79. Thomas Henry says:

    This is giving me Battletoads turbo tunnel PTSD flashbacks.

  80. Ryan the GT Falcon says:

    3:57 LOL

  81. Jhinn Efreet says:

    "Can I jump over the fireballs?", summersaults straight into a heavy🤣🤣🤣

  82. Blazin' Blue says:

    The Ninja Turtles can do frontflips……

  83. The Avenger at Ilipa says:


  84. Sarah Nicholson says:

    Is double suck my turtle dong on a shirt yet orrr…..

  85. psychoticBreak says:

    you can double suck my turtle dong

  86. Ricky Carrillo says:

    I love when the game is good and he has to get creative about things to complain about.

  87. Ryan the GT Falcon says:

    Actually you have Lava in Level 4, fuddy duddy!😡

  88. Bailey Regier says:

    The worst part about commercials and promos that are integrated into the video play is that theyre still here.

  89. Collin 255 says:

    Michael, start putting out 1 RAGE QUIT one a week 🙂 its my favorote! I underhandif tou sont wamt to cause you're into otherstudd amd whatmot. But ill supoort Rage aaquit.

  90. Lee boyd says:


  91. ms riiko says:

    I wish we could see a small screen of him as he plays

  92. thaitran10010 says:

    Those captions lol

  93. Paul Dennett says:

    It's Clive Tortshwar! This is a game about his younger years, training to be the badass he became in the battle simulator.

  94. CORWIN J. HARRIS says:

    IM DEEEAD, that turtle looked so happy compared to how Michael felt

  95. Daniel Loughlin says:

    Nobody's going to question how a turtle that can swim through lava could possibly be affected by fireballs…

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