Micheal: Once again, great music. I’m a sucker for good music. And for dick! I see what you’re doing there right, is this like a ninja turtles thing? Cuz this is like the screen…it’s like select your turtles. Ohhh god alright. This is like fucking Super Mario Brothers 3. Say I said Mario, because people always bitch about it. Wow! This thing fucking mo- holy shit! Look at this guy! This is the most incredible turtle I’ve ever fucking seen in my li- This fucking thing is more agile than the ninja turtles! They can’t do this. I’ve never seen them do this once. Do I have any like hidden moves? Do I have a katana or a bo staff of some sort? No? Look like I just got the shell…Oh fuck! I- oh shit, oh god! Hooly crap.This is kicking off, everything is kicking off now. This level is my bitch. Holy crap. Oh fuck fuck! Oh fuck ahhh ohhh oh shit, oh fucking shit. This little fuck’s racing till’ the sun goes down. Alright level 2, you’re a turtle, it’s the water. You got this shit. Oh extra points, give me the fucking rings. Oh fucking shit I’m a dolphin! *Michael trying to imitate a dolphin and failing miserably* [FASTER!] Oh my god I jumped over his head! You got nothing on Turts! You got nothing! That’s the name of my guy it’s Turts. [HALFWAY!] I’m like lighting, I’m like fish lighting. *Michael taking a shit* Fucking fuck! I’m missing everything. Look at this, There was a little- There was a little splash sound when I beat it.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And now we’re going into fucking zombie woods?! This is fucking shady as shit. There are also zombies or fucking vampires. Cuz this is the kind of shit vampires pop out of. Don’t suck ma blood. Don’t suck ma turtle blo- Oh crap. The zombies look like fucking Canadians from South Park, where their head just kinda like swing on a hinge. That’s copyright infringement right there. Oh shit! Oh my god- OOOOH GOD! Oh I’m a zombie turtle now is that..is that what’s happening? Oh my god OOOOOH Fucking shit I ate that coffin hardcore. Hooooly shit. Fucking crap! But I got it. Fucking lava..What I- What the fuck is stage 2 gonna be like?! We got lava in level 1?! I’ll be honest, I thought I’d be running around the lava not fucking swimming through it! What am I, a fucking mecha turtle?! What?! Oh my god..ohh I’m starting to get sick this is fucking..ohh this fucking looks weird. *Michael vomiting* [LEVEL COMPLETE] So I’m in stage 5, we’ve got the dungeon, there is the Merio fireball..Fuck! I said Merio, Mario. Dammit. Holy shit..Oh fuck! I ate that hard.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) This is the dungeon level and there are shitload of doors in the background- or windows. Somebody went fucking nuts with windows.They were like windows, everywhere! Every two feet! Fucking crap! Those big fireballs, I’m either fucking stupid or they take up 2 spots and they’re kicking the shit out of me. Oh fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! Oooh fucking crap! Oh god no! Ooooooh FUCK! Oh my god! The first fucking one?! FUCK! I hope there is a fucking boss at the end, and it’s like a chef and he’s trying to make turtle soup. FUCK! Holy fuck! I’m getting wiped out, I’m getting wiped the fuck out. MOTHERFUCKER! Fuck me! I mashed- I was fucking- God dammit I mashed the A button picked level 1. The beginning of this level is like Call of Duty Zombies. Right? It’s fucking easy as shit until you get to round like 6 or 7 and then you’re fucked around 7! FUCK! I just got killed on round 2! Fucking double fireballs you can double suck my turtle dong. AHHHH CRAP! I knew I was fucked. I knew it! Can I jump over these fucking fireballs actually? OH FUCK! Fucking shit. Oh fuck, I’m fucked, I’m fucking fucked. I got no- Goddamn It..I HIT THE GODDAMN POLE! I fucking picked level 1 again. Go fuck yourself level 1! Are you- Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck?! AHHHHH AHHHH I moved into it! I fucking..AHHHHHHHHH! Oh shit, yup yup. Saw that coming. Half- I’m more than fucking halfway to my fucking grave. GODDAMN IT!