Jim vs. the Most Poisonous Snake in the World – The Jim Jefferies Show

Jim vs. the Most Poisonous Snake in the World – The Jim Jefferies Show


This is my son’s favorite story. The most poisonous snake in the world is called a Brown Snake and it’s from Australia. And it’s just the most boring looking snake. It just looks like a log of shit. Anyway, so I had this cat growing up and I was in bed.I was about 11 years old. And this cat just brought in a Brown Snake. The most poisonous snake in the world… and just dumped it on the end of my bed. I was just there, I went, “AHHHH!” “AHHH!” And then the cat was toying with it like this… Lookin’ at it goin, “I fuckin’ did it, didn’t I?” “Fuckin’ nailed this!” The thing is shooting poison from a distance at it like “PSSS!” And I couldn’t scream. I was just under the bed going, “AHHH! AHH!” And I went “Dad! ….I was trying not to make noise like “Dad!” Then I eventually go like, “DAD!!” And then my dad came in…without his underwear on. Just a t-shirt. With his fuckin’ dick hangin’ out. And he walked in, he went, “What are you bloody screamin’ for? I’m tryin’ to fuc–AW JESUS, FUCK!” “That’s a bad one, that one!” “Oh dad, do something!” “Alright, wait there.” And then he ducks off for a while. I don’t see him for a couple of minutes. And he comes back with a fucking shovel! Goes, “Just stay under the covers!” And he fuckin’ smacks. The cat. Because he always hated that cat. No, he smacks… “Don’t bring fuckin’ snakes in, ya dumb cunt!” Anyway, so he smacks the fuckin… He smacks the snake. Kills it. And then he puts it in a dust pan. And he goes, “Go back to bed son”. “Sweet dreams.” The next morning, I fuckin’ wake up. I go to my brothers, I go, “There was a brown snake. And the cat brought it in. And dad came in. And he hit it with a shovel. And now the fuckin’ snake’s dead.” And dad went, “I left it out on the front step for you boys to see.” Right? And so we all walked out like this… And it was in the dust pan and then my brother went, “Ohhh” and he poked it and it went, “HISS!” like that again. Turns out my dad just fuckin’ knocked it out. So…

Randy Schultz

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67 thoughts on “Jim vs. the Most Poisonous Snake in the World – The Jim Jefferies Show

  1. Sonny says:

    Cartoon is awesome <3

  2. NATIVE LATINOS Fook TRUMP says:

    🐍 I am not scared of non-poisonous snakes

  3. iftlatlw says:

    the scary part is the dad with no underwear

  4. Alessandro Ippati says:

    I JUST PIED MY PANTHS…. LOL

  5. Max Zorin says:

    Hate to break your stride but the Eastern Brown (Pseudonaja textilis) takes second place to the Inland Taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus).

  6. cats doing dumb shite says:

    3rd comment
    Ya cunts

  7. Chrome Orihara says:

    Pretty sure it's venomous and not poisonous. There's actually a difference.

  8. Bryce A says:

    Venomous not poison.

  9. 87 Seconds - 10k Subs- Bitsized Educational Videos says:

    Fun fact: despite being the most venomous snake in the world, it's never killed a single person . I did a video on this little guy a while ago if you're interested

    edit: turns out our favorite Aussie comedian was wrong. The Inland Taipan is the snake I was thinking of, and it's the snake that's actually the most venomous snake in the world. The Brown Snake is still quite dangerous, but it has less venom than the Inland Taipan

  10. AIRLINENA says:

    i fn hate snakes

  11. DangerDave says:

    It's dangerous Down Under!

  12. Christopher Thomas says:

    Love this!

  13. Kirk Hullinger says:

    My bet is after seeing all the. . It's actually venomous not poisonous, however correct that is. . .jim would call you all a bunch of dumb cunts lol

  14. Adrienne Olson says:

    Cartoon is great, more please!

  15. Mondo Shredder says:

    He forgot to mention if his brother survived that last, venomous splash, in this brilliant reenactment…

  16. ursaltydog says:

    I'd been more worried about my dad's snake being uncovered..

  17. Phoenix Uprising says:

    Can you imagine seeing a half naked man run outside to get a shovel?

  18. Cody Woempner says:

    More of these! Hilarious 😂

  19. Mission Blonde says:

    🤣

  20. Craig Corson says:

    When you THINK that you have killed a venomous snake, it takes only a moment to make sure, and cut its head off.

  21. Jonas Kircher says:

    I'm not scared of poisonous snakes at all, however a snake as venomous as a Brown Snake is something I'd rather have not in my bed.

  22. Fake. DUBITA says:

    Ok, that's a youtube content.
    I love it

  23. Adrian! says:

    well
    I'm glad I wasn't born in Australia

  24. Anirudh Raj says:

    Ì love Jim's storytelling skills!!

  25. C W says:

    I thought the taipan was number 1

  26. John C. says:

    Omg that was so funny.

  27. Marc beebee says:

    Nice animation

  28. Andres Suarez says:

    Sweet dreams hahaha

  29. Fuji says:

    Do more of these! That was hilarious

  30. Kapilthev Kenway says:

    Your dad should've LEFT IT TO THE CAT.

  31. Hussam Malik says:

    The end noise he made scared the fuck out of me

  32. Mr Deadbird says:

    This shit was Fucking awesome… Love the animation no joke.

  33. DublinGreen says:

    The black mamba's of Africa must be a joke to you.
    Faster (actually the Fastest snake on earth), Longer and deadlier than the brown snake and it has a more catchy name too.

  34. Casey McAchran says:

    You know Australia has made it really clear that we should not live there

  35. atikur rahman says:

    We need more JIM JEFFERIES SHOW ANIMATION

  36. atikur rahman says:

    The cat is hilarious 😂👍

  37. byron p says:

    Snakes can be a huge problem even IF they are dead. Just because you've, say cut the head off the thing, doesn't mean it can't still bite.

  38. Den Bosse says:

    cute animation, let's keep it a one-time thing

  39. Aymeric Duigou-Majumdar says:

    AUST fucking STRALIA

  40. The Unholy Smirk says:

    which genius animated this

  41. Iggy says:

    Venomous…. For fucks sake…

  42. Steve Newman says:

    The most dangerous thing you can do is kill a venomous snake. Now the snake is fighting for its life and you are much more likely to get bitten.

    This is what you do. Get away from the snake and call a snake remover. Every place with lots of snakes has people who love them and who know how to safely remove them and relocate them.

  43. Nora Adams-Mangan says:

    Keep the animation… it helps people to understand your stories. If you are ever in the State of Louisiana, it is the cottonmouth snake that is most dangerous. You will know it because when it opens it's mouth, it looks like it has two balls of cotton in it. Now why your father didn't decapitate the brown snake with the end of the shovel he used to knock it out with is beyond me. Here is a link to a Tim Minchin song that your childhood story reminded me concerning the affect that traumatic life episodes have upon the sleeping habits of children when parents fail to remain calm or do all they can to ensure the safety of their children or treat them well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFANzZTdYM

  44. Kohlenstoffisotop12 says:

    I thought the most poisonous snake was a sea snake, and the most poisonous one one land is the inland taipan. The brown snake ist the most dangerous though, because it is still very poisonous but bigger in numbers and a lot more to find around humans, it is also very fast and can be quite aggressive. If I remember Steve Irwin correctly, I saw him telling it in a fun way years ago in one of the episodes he could put out into the world wide web. ^.^
    What a nice dad not killing the snake, stupid cat. : >

  45. MTS BOUR says:

    what about the other brown snake?

  46. Dave Hughes says:

    Aside from the humor… This story has traumatized me. I will never sleep again

  47. MrChipoclas says:

    This is Internet gold

  48. nar ́to Uzumaki says:

    thats why i will never fly to Australia although i'd love to .. Snakes and Spiders

  49. soth1 sol says:

    stop. animating. standup. assholes.

  50. David Thomas says:

    Awesome fuckin story!

  51. Stéphane Clerc says:

    Venomous, you dumb piece of ugly ass alcoholic aussie

  52. James Barton says:

    Bring me my brown pants !

  53. hhairball9 says:

    As long as you don't eat it, a poisonous snake can't hurt you. Good thing it wasn't a venomous snake!

  54. Mick Stewart says:

    Epic

  55. Cristobal Buendia says:

    Hilarious as always jim xD
    I'm Sorry to bring bad news but we could really use your help, we are having a terrible time in our country Chile, we are in a state of emergency and the president who's ineptitude has brought the military to deal with the current situation. People have died in the riots and just because the people want a better living, the government has step on us with their last rising of the prise of the use of public transport and people had enough please search for informations of this. What is happening in our country is a real crisis and the few news are touching on this subject.

  56. Jeff Lockhart says:

    *venomous

  57. Jeff Lockhart says:

    Inland Taipan is the most venomous snake in the world. The Eastern Brown is #2.

  58. Vladimir Svetlov says:

    Them crazy wombats have some of the most poisonous snakes all over the damn place, but you'd be liable for fines, imprisonment and/or deportation, if you'd bring in a butterfly. Biosecurity, mate.

  59. Justin Eaddy says:

    haven't laughed this hard in a while🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  60. Devon Miller says:

    VENOMOUS. NOT. POISIONOUS. VENOM. NOT POISON.

  61. Christopher H. Meuse says:

    "JESUS FUCK" – 'Strayan Man

  62. Evil Sharkey says:

    Can we all just pause to appreciate the skill of that cat, catching and bringing home a deadly venomous snake and just playing with it like a toy without getting bit or sprayed?

  63. Macie Jade says:

    This animation is just chef's kiss perfect! Beautiful! Added to the laughs x10!!! Genius!

  64. Rebecca Birmingham says:

    Well is it's poisonous, just dont eat it lol. Unless you meant Venomous, which is a bit different. You'd think the editors would have caught that

  65. Tony Di Pietro says:

    In america, the dad would have several felony charges against him in this scenario lol

  66. Mr. Scoot Scooter says:

    The ancient Egyptians believed in two souls and they also worshipped cats because of the belief that the cats protect us from bad spirits/ghosts/demons.

    Is this your subconscious telling your conscious self that life does exist beyond this physical being?

    Or did I eat the whole brownie? Both! 👽

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